Forgetting you “now blog”

It took one week, countless self-reminding sticky notes and some damn persistence to remember that I started a blog.  What it took to remember my username and password reminds me parts of my short-term memory may be shot.

In my usual self-realization, I thought twice (two months later, none the less) about once again putting myself out there via a blog.  I feel I now have a better understanding of why my mother is terrified of the exact same anxiety-ridden feeling… only hers comes by way of match.com.

My fear is… my blog.

I must humbly admit that when I tried to track down the blog I started, I went through the following steps:

1)  I first remembered that one night around the holidays… something about my lame non-existent plans for the evening… a bottle of wine + my macbook… {this opening could segway into waaay too many stories} = a blog.

But it doesn’t.  It segways into how I decided to start my blog.

2)  I’m distracted one afternoon in class and suddenly I am prompted to wonder: did I use wordpress.com or .org?  My excuse for this pressing thought comes from the fact I was in a media relations and publicity class, so it was relevant.

3)  I type every possible keyword I can think of on both wordpress.com and wordpress.org- including the official name of this blog.  None yield my blog.

I do, however, discover the following:

a)  It only took wordpress .27 seconds to find 9,107 hits on the word “emery” (again, none of which were my blog).

b)  Marc Emery is an underground pot-loving grown-ass man who bums around California and occasionally is incarcerated.  My father’s name is Mark Emery, and he is a 28-year veteran of the Cleveland Police.

c)  “Emery” was the 778th most popular first name of 2009.

d)  “EmeryCAT” is a blog about… a cat?

e)  There are some “celebrities” with a small-time cult following with the last name Emery- a hockey player, a hiker, a cat…and Marc.

I was excited to see I had 1 comment when I finally managed to crack the code to my own blog.  Someone found my blog! Someone found me!

Next thought:

*&^$#&%@!*

The comment was from wordpress, welcoming me to my blog.

When you’re busy the other 364 days of the year.

My mommy made some amazing Thanksgiving grub… I’ve gone through about three rounds of Thanksgiving food, and her’s still ranks first.  Not because she is my mother…because… well, she is my mother and I will always favor her cooking!

But mothers and mother-in-laws and all things mother-related needs to be saved for another day.

And another bottle.

Here’s my sound-off: What happens when, the other 364 or so days of the year, you are busy busy BUSY with your LIFE- and all of a sudden, a holiday comes: school is on break (both for me and the kid), the office closes, and work slows down.  Suddenly, I am obligated to attend family functions (not that I am complaining), but that otherwise, I wouldn’t have time for.

Usually, this comes as a hassle.  I have to look nice.  I better have something good (a.k.a “successful”) going on in my life to make conversation with.  I must ask if I can “bring something” (and am relieved when told “oh, no that’s ok!”).  We usually make a last-minute run to Target for shoes/dress pants/dog food.  (hey, I don’t have time during the week to get that 1,000 lb. bag, ok?!)

This blog is unedited. I need to put that in there, because man, does this sound like a scrooge holiday rant or what?!  I just ate some of the best food I will eat all year (what does that tell you? That tells you times are tough- as in no Chilian Sea Bass this season…).  I will repeat:  Green Bean Casseroll is waaaay too good to only have twice a year.

Here is what I have found myself faced with for the third night in a row:  My kid is off with dad/dad’s family or in the case of tonight, a sleepover.  I have not had to get up before 8 a.m.  (Although my internal clock does anyway).  My internet is shut off (much to my dismay two nights ago: I can’t pay my over-due bill online b/c I need to be postal-mailed a “pin”.  I cannot pay via phone b/c the office is closed for the holiday. Than HOW THE HELL do I get my internet turned back on?!)  I do not get cable t.v for three good reasons: 1) I am never home/around enough to watch it 2) it costs a butt-load of money…and most shows you can watch on hulu.com or somewhere on the internet, and, 3) I believe I owe the cable company some money.

I do not enjoy talking on the phone.  It’s winter in Cleveland, so the extent of me walking my dog is…not much.  My waaay over-due homework needs to be done….ONLINE.  My bank account is telling me in a obvious way that I really can’t afford to go out.  But never mind all that.

If it were not a holiday, I would be way too busy to care about any of this.  But it IS a holiday, so I find myself wondering, is this what I get when I ignore/put on hold everyone/everything the other 364 days of the year?!

Case-in-point:  My 22 year-old sister is in town.  I call it ‘Hurricane Annie’ when she decides, literally, to blow into town.  She is….22.  She is… a nomadic, southern-Florida college-educated world-traveling hippie.  Blonde, thin, and incredibly likeable.   And she is 22.

I have found myself going through my phone: something I guess I do only on the holidays and when I am wasted- to find someone to text.  And like a stupid internet-default setting, I find myself texting my sister…”what are you up to??”

Oops, my bad, I forgot when you’re the typical 22 year-old, you change plans like you change sex partners or college majors.  So, here I am, all dressed (dead sexy, if I may say so) and no where to go.

I’m mooching off of some neighbor’s unsecure internet connection in my kitchen.  Any longer with no plans, and I am going to have to re-apply eyeliner… and re-evaluate my life situation.

It’s a toss-up between refilling my drink…. or walking my dog, yet again, to the end of the drive and back.

Starting a blog…day 1

Driving home: the perfect opportunity to let your mind wonder.  A great chance to come up with ideas (especially when you are once again driving an hour+ home from Kent).  Those great ideas usually never get past me putting the car into park.

Why?

I’m jolted back to reality with the bizillion things I need to do and/or the ideas and thoughts were pretty stupid to begin with.  I leave the stupid ideas up to my ex-husband; he’s wonderful at them.

Today’s thought: I should start a blog! Right.

I swore I would never have a myspace page.  I also swore I’d never wear anything but low-cut jeans.  Things change.

While I don’t have a myspace page, I have just graduated from the 1-year mark of starting a facebook page.  I said I’d never have one of those either- then again, isn’t running into old classmates at the bar bad enough?  Now I’m supposed to friend them?  Again, things change.  In this case, I got a macbook.

The facebook thing happened when I started at Kent State.  Bad enough I had everyone there beat by a good 2 years and something called financial independence.  The 10-year plan?  It is not so much a joke to that creepy frat brother who peaked senior year (in ’98). And me.

I finally got to start taking my public relations classes at Kent, where I basically realized online media is essential to my field.  Social media is everywhere…except on my toolbar.  Oops.  Better get over the fact I tend to be on the conservative side when it comes to “putting yourself out there” on the web.  It’s the mom (and adult) in me saying, “Someday, that picture of you doing whatever it is you do at 2:30 a.m. will end up in the inbox of HR at your job.”  And I’m not talking about your bartending job…that doesn’t count.  I would be forever unemployed if that counted.

The PR professional in me is screaming right now.  There are so many rules to blogging! yet, There are no rules to blogging!  Drink a glass of red wine a day for good heart health.  I believe a glass of red wine a day is also supposed to increase your chances of breast cancer.  Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.  I say just drink the whole damn bottle.

So, here it is: my blog.  Luckily, no one has to know about it until one of two things happens: 1) I’m forced to share it in my online tactics class or 2) I get drunk and blab about it.